Burning Love
by RhodesScholar
Summary: Alex and Piper's relationship before Piper leaves. Can Piper convince Alex to change her ways? Will Alex want to? Mature for all the smut that's going to happen. I own nothing of OitNB - this is purely to keep myself occupied until June!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This was supposed to be a one-shot smut filled story. However, the more I wrote, the more I'm open to possibly making this multi-chapter. This is my first attempt at a fanfic, so review away! **

** Let's start off with a bang, shall we?**

* * *

They needed tonight.

They haven't had a night like this, alone, in a long time. Alex was always busy with work; Piper was always fluttering around wherever they happened to be for the week.

Tonight was just the two women. Not surrounded by mules and cohorts, friends, packed into a club with a blaring bass that sent shockwaves through their bodies. _'I wouldn't mind Alex's body against mine on a dance floor though' _Piper's mind started to wander. Most of all there was an ease of the looming dread that they could get arrested at any time. Piper shuddered at the thought.

They had shared a spectacular meal, wine by the bottles and dancing in the middle of the floor to the soft piano music playing in the restaurant.

Piper had stolen a few glances of Alex in the restaurant. _'Is she really mine?'_ she thought. Her arm was around Piper's chair, delicately running a finger along Piper's exposed shoulder. As the dim lights in the eatery lit up one side of Alex's face, Piper continued to sing praises of her in her mind.

'_She's proud, powerful, protective. God, she's gorgeous. She definitely has a way with words, usually with some innuendo about fucking in some way. And Jesus, words aren't the only good things about her mouth. And she's mine - but for how long can we do this?' _

"I think we should have dessert back up in the room, don't you think?" Alex whispered the question in her ear, and snapped Piper back before she could finish the end of that thought.

Piper didn't have time to answer, only to smile as Alex took care of the check, took her hand and smirked at her while they walked out of the eatery. Hailing a cab, the pair slid in and Alex told the driver where to take them.

Piper took Alex's hand again and swung it over her head and scooted closer to the brunette. Alex placed her free hand on the blonde's thigh and played with the hem of her dress.

"Purple looks good on you, Kid." Alex commented. She moved closer to Piper's ear and continued "It'll look better off." She took a little nibble of her ear and winked as Piper made an audible exhale.

Finally they had arrived back at the hotel. The elevator ride up was excruciating for Piper. She was eagerly anticipating finally having Alex's full attention on her, and this damned elevator just wasn't moving fast enough for her. As more people got on, she pressed herself into Alex and nuzzled against her neck. She could feel the taller woman's pulse quicken against her lips. _'If only this elevator was empty'_ she thought.

As the elevator came to a stop at their floor, the couple nearly knocked over some people waiting to enter.

"Sorry!" was all Piper to call out to them as Alex practically dragged her to the room.

The card slid into the lock. The door clicked open. Piper was grinning.

Alex had ordered them up champagne. It was chilling now in a bucket near the bed.

"For us. To celebrate having a night together. Fucking finally!" Alex said popping the cork on the bottle.

Piper reached for the two flutes on the table, as Alex poured.

"Al, this is...too much. You didn't have to..." Piper admitted. A clink of glasses.

"Only the best for you, Kid" came the low reply from Alex as she grabbed the blonde around the waist and pulled her closer into a deep, passionate kiss.

It was Piper that finally broke the kiss. She gently pushed Alex back a bit, downed the rest of the contents of her glass, and put it down on the bedside table. Alex raised an eyebrow following every move the blonde made. She too, emptied her glass, champagne not being her drink of choice, but Piper's. It served its purpose well.

She came up behind Piper and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed from one shoulder to the other taking her time at her hairline and neck. Piper placed her hands over Alex's and leaned back into the taller woman.

Alex slipped her hands from Piper's front up to the zipper in the back of her dress. As she unzipped, she placed a kiss all the way down on the newly exposed skin. Piper started to bend forward to allow Alex more access to her. The dress slipped off of Piper and fell to the floor. She turned to face Alex.

A small smile crept over Alex's face. She saw Piper lean forward to try and capture her mouth in a kiss, but she was faster. She turned to allow Piper to help her out of her dress. The blonde pouted for a second that she couldn't have kissed her love, but dutifully unbuttoned the black dress that Alex wore.

Alex turned around and grabbed Piper and pulled her close. The kiss they shared was searing, with both letting out a small moan as they felt more skin touching now that the fabric was removed from between them.

The kisses turned passionate and frenzied, where each woman battled with lips and tongues for supremacy. It was a futile battle, each knowing how it was going to turn out, but drove both the women wild.

Piper, with Alex's bottom lip captured, started to walk backwards until she was on the bed. She fell upon the pillow-top mattress, pulling Alex on top of her. Before Alex readjusted her weight on the bed, she deftly removed the bra that Piper had on, freeing her chest. She rushed to take her own undergarments off; needing the skin to skin contact. Piper let out a small whimper when she had to release Alex's lips for a fleeting moment.

Alex's hands immediately went to Piper's breasts. Grasping them and kneading them, taking a nipple in her mouth and just barely grazing it with her teeth. Only to gently lick at it and release it. Matching the same pattern across Piper's chest.

After she had her fun, she started a new trail of kisses down to Piper's navel. Alex dragged her nails and fingertips in a haphazard pattern from Piper's sides down to her thighs, gently nudging them apart with her knee. She continued the journey her mouth was taking to each hip. Piper was biting her lip now in a readily failing attempt to keep quiet. Alex lifted Piper's legs up onto her shoulders, kissing the back of her knees and snaking back up on the inside of her thighs.

She hooked her thumbs under the thin fabric that made up Piper's now ruined underwear, slid it down her legs and threw them somewhere behind her.

Alex finally came to a stop right above Piper's clit. She took a moment to marvel at the fact that Piper was always so wet for her. '_Every. Single. Time.' _She looked up at her. Piper's eyes were closed tight.

"Look at me." Alex rasped.

Piper opened her eyes and looked down. Seeing Alex's face between her legs was almost enough for her to lose it right there. She couldn't take the teasing anymore. She wanted Alex to make her cum. She wanted Alex any way she could have her tonight.

"I want you to watch what I'm going to do to you. If you close your eyes, I'm going to stop."

Piper had no choice but to nod in understanding. With that, Alex gently started to lick up the length of Piper's pussy. The taste of Piper was something she never would forget or grow tired of. She flattened her tongue to reach as much area as she could in each stroke.

Piper's eyes widened at the moment Alex started tracing little circles around her clit. Her breathing was faster now, as her senses were on overload with watching Alex work her closer and closer to the edge.

Alex sucked gently on Piper's most sensitive spot, and flicked at it with her tongue. Piper was starting to squirm and Alex grabbed her hips to lock her in place.

"Fuck, Alex. I'm so close." Piper managed to breathe out.

Alex didn't respond, just moaned as her tongue continued to work on Piper. A few moments more and Piper's hands reached down and grabbed handfuls of the brunette's hair as her body shuddered against Alex's mouth.

Alex relinquished Piper from her mouth, and kissed the insides of her thighs as the blonde struggled to get her breathing back under control. Piper still had her hands in Alex's hair and gently tugged to bring her face up to hers. As they locked lips, Piper could taste herself on Alex and she could feel the heat start to build again between her legs.

Alex didn't waste any time with letting Piper recuperate from her climax, resting on one arm, she brought the other down and let her finger tease around Piper's opening.

"Do you like this?" she whispered into Piper's ear.

"Mmhmm" was the only response the blonde could muster as her hips feebly tried to move closer to Alex's hand. As if she was trying to will it to enter her.

"Eager, aren't we?"

"Please." Was all Piper could manage to say. That's all she needed to say.

Without hesitation, Alex slipped one finger in, then added another. Feeling how tight Piper was, she let out a low groan and attacked Piper's neck. She started slow again, trying to draw out every moment with Piper. This was when she loved her the most, when the blonde was under her and no other sound was in the air except the sounds of their lovemaking.

'_I wish I could stay like this, always. I love you Piper Chapman.' _Alex's mind was racing just as fast as her heart was. _'Fuck. Not now. You can't do this now.'_

Piper was matching the rhythm that Alex set, feeling her love drawing out the motions. This wasn't their usualquick, dirty, marathon sessions. This was something else. There was emotion behind Alex's movements. Her eyes were raking over Piper's body, but not with the hungry, widened stare that she was used to. This was...adoration?

'_Love. This is love. She loves you.' _As Piper's thoughts kept repeating this mantra in her head, her body interrupted and took over as a wave of pure pleasure pulled her back.

Piper locked eyes with Alex. Alex was steadily thrusting into Piper and grinding herself against Piper's thigh. She wanted them to reach that pure ecstasy together. The blonde pulled Alex's face to hers. She wanted to breathe in Alex. She needed as much contact as possible right now.

"Come with me, Al."

"Always, Pipes."

As Alex increased her speed, it didn't take long for the blonde to start to buck underneath her, and she could feel herself begin to become underdone. Piper pushed her forehead to Alex's, her mouth slightly hanging open.

"Piper I'm comin-" Alex wasn't able to finish her plea through her ragged breathing.

"AlexAlexAlex, FUCKING SHIT ALEX!"

The two women let wave after wave of pleasure wash over them. As they came down, they let their bodies untwine briefly for Alex to move next to Piper. One settled, they became tangled again still having some trouble getting their breathing controlled.

'_Now, tell her now. It's time to stop running. This is love. You love this woman. She hasn't left you yet through all this shit. Say the words, you pussy.' _Alex's thoughts were begging her to shatter the comfortable silence that was enveloping the lovers in the room.

"Pipes?"

No response.

"Piper? Are you awake?" Alex whispered closer to Piper's ear.

"Hmmm?" Piper half-answered, half pushing herself closer into Alex.

'_Well, this isn't going to work. I can't just say it when she's fucking sleeping! She'll never remember it. Don't fuck this up Alex Vause. Fuck me. There's always tomorrow." _With a soft kiss to Piper's temple and pulling her closer, Alex make the promise of telling Piper tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites! I know this is a short one, but I've gotta have an interlude here. Trying to give you each perspective. **

* * *

The phone woke Alex up in the morning. _'Fucking shit.'_ As she gently removed her arm from under Piper's head, the blonde stirred, affected by the loss of contact and warmth.

Alex grabbed the phone and walked nearly silently into the adjacent room of the suite just out of earshot of Piper. "Talk!" is the last thing Piper heard her say.

Piper groaned. Hearing the rest of the conversation was unnecessary, she knew what these phone calls meant. Usually Alex leaving for a day or longer. Sometimes she went with her on longer trips, but she was still alone most of the time.

'_I wish she didn't have to pick up that phone. I wish she didn't do something this illegal for work. I wish she would have some sort of fallback to 'importing' drugs. I really just wish she would come back to bed.'_

Piper reached for the edge of the sheet and pulled it over her head, trying to replace the warmth that left when Alex got up from the bed. She drifted back to sleep hoping to dream of something better than Alex having to leave again.

Alex hung up the phone. "Fuck." She said quietly to the empty room. _'Three! Three runs in a row. Jakarta, Myanmar and Turkey. This would be weeks of work. Weeks without Piper. Shit. How am I supposed to tell her this?' _

Alex was starting to stress the details, but there was always a part of her that got a rush from a challenge like this. These runs would pull in serious money. Not that she needed it but the thrill of it all was really what excited Alex. _'I'm really fucking good at this.'_ She thought to herself.

She walked back to the bedroom where she put her phone back down on the nightstand and slid back into bed beside Piper.

Alex didn't want to wake the sleeping blonde up. She needed some time to think about what she was going to say. _'I love you so much and I'm leaving tomorrow. Yeah, that's great Alex. Hand her a fucking dove with one hand and flip her off with the other. Fucking balls.' _She looked down at Piper's relaxed face, snoring lightly. She thought about how this would sadden Piper. _'Please don't wake up before I can figure this shit out.' _She wrapped an arm around Piper as her mind ran through as many possible scenarios how this could play out.

Without waking, Piper pushed herself further back into Alex.

She dreamed of them moving back to the States and staying there. She would do something, even waitressing and Alex would have a great paying, legal job. Alex's huge loft apartment filled with friends that didn't run drugs or do them. They would throw great parties with great music and dance their asses off. Where she would always be playing house and 'doctor' with Alex after everyone had left.

Piper looked at Alex. _'I love you, Piper Chapman.' _Alex's voice was like a wave of music washing over her.

'_I love you!' _Piper managed to say back as her voice cracked from the tears and the lump forming in her throat. Alex had finally said the only words that Piper wanted her to say.

They were happy. Safe. Surrounded by love.

As she dreamed of Alex popping open another bottle of champagne and running her tongue up the side of the bottle trying to catch the spillage; the room went black. Alex's perfect rockabilly outfit was replaced with a horrible outfit of bright orange. Her blue-tipped locks were hacked and her hair was limp and shorter. Her wrists were bound in handcuffs and ankles shackled. The smile slid off Alex's face and the bottle of champagne shattered on the floor.

Piper started to run toward Alex. A set of bars fell in between them. Separating them.

Piper threw herself against the bars and yelled at people she didn't know; couldn't see: _'No, this is wrong. This is all wrong! This can't be happening. Take them off! Please! Let her out! I SAID LET HER OUT!'_

Alex looked over at the blonde. "What?"

She locked eyes with Alex through the bars. _"This is your fault."_

"Pipes."

"_Don't. Just don't. I knew this would happen! Fuck you!" _The tears were streaming down her face.

"Piper! Wake up!"

"_What?"_

Alex grabbed the blonde's flailing hands. "Piper! You're okay! You're okay. I'm right here. We're okay." She tried to repeat as many soothing statements as she could.

Piper blinked frantically for a few moments before realizing that it had all been a dream. She looked around the room. No black. No bars. She grabbed the sides of Alex's face and ran her eyes over her body.

No orange jumpsuit. No shackles. Blue tips.

"Pipes, are you okay? You were beating the shit out of me over here."

"I'm sorry." Piper immediately felt guilt and still felt the anger at Alex that she did in the dream. "I didn't...must have been a nightmare."

"Wanna talk about it? Or we can continue this wrestling match? But I'm making a rule: everyone's gotta be naked." Alex gave Piper a smirk and a wink trying to alleviate Piper's stress.

Piper couldn't bring herself to smile back. Not yet. She hadn't had the time to process everything from her dream.

"I think...I think I'm just going to shower. I need to relax a little bit."

"Oh. Okay. I'll guess I'll order us some breakfast?" Alex tried to keep a neutral face as she watched Piper make her way to the bathroom.

"Sounds good." Alex heard her say as the bathroom door closed and the water turned on.

'_Well, we're off to a good start this morning.'_ Alex thought to herself as she picked up the hotel phone.

"Morning, Villa 9. Breakfast, yes. Scrambled. Whole Wheat with bacon. Make it two of them. Coffee. Grapefruit. Thanks." Alex hung up and started pacing.

'_Okay Alex. Get your shit together. Do you start with the fact that you're going to have to make a huge fucking trip? Or do you start with telling her how you really feel? Better yet, why don't you tell her that you heard her say 'this is your fault' when she was dreaming? How wonderful. You're causing her fucking nightmares now. As if sending her into panic mode for a few days after Brussels wasn't enough. Fuck me.' _

Alex ran her hands through her hair a few times and sat down on the edge of the bed.

'_Start with breakfast. Ask about the dream. Tell her you love her. Tell her about the jobs. Not going to work. Start with her about the jobs. She'll get pissed. Deflect. Ask her about the dream. She won't tell you cause she's pissed. If she hasn't stormed out or thrown something. Tell her you love her. Nope. Breakfast. I love you. Dream. I love you. Jobs. I love you. Motherfuck. Planning moves for millions of dollars and drugs isn't this fucking stressing. I love you. The rest can wait. Sort of. Not really. Fuck it.'_

There was a knock on the villa door. Alex stood up and opened it. The cart made a grating metal sound. Alex winced. She tipped the porter and locked the door behind him. The water was still running in the shower.

Piper let the water run over her as if it could cleanse everything wrong with her life. She could have sworn that it was real. It could be real. A completely plausible glimpse into the future with Alex Vause. _'Prison. I can't go to prison! I can't. I can't do this anymore. I can't just be sitting here waiting for her to leave and come back with no promise that she'll return. No guarantee that she'll be safe. Fucking drugs. Fucking mules. Fucking Fahri. I'm always second to them all. I'm done with this. I should go back home. Polly would never forget remind me everyday that she told me what a shit idea this was. What am I going to do back in the States? Work again as a waitress? Kill me. Actually, fuck it, I could do with some fucking stability for once. I need to tell her that it's me or the job. I just wish I had some clue that there's a chance that she would chose me.'_

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Pipes? Breakfast is here. Whenever." Alex's voice echoed into the huge bathroom.

"Be right out." Piper answered behind the shield of the foggy glass doors.

When she was finished she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a robe and her hair in a towel. She took a glance in the half-fogged mirror. _"You need to be selfish this time. You need guarantees. You can't constantly live on the edge of free-falling and nesting. Give her the ultimatum.' _Piper sighed. She felt a sinking pit start to grow in her stomach and took it as a sign this wasn't going to end well. With an adjustment of her robe, walked out to Alex who had set up breakfast on the table on the balcony.

Alex turned to see Piper walking out in nothing but a robe and towel around her hair. _'Fuck, she's gorgeous. Don't think about that right now. Stick to the plan, Shithead. Discussion. First, just act naturally. What the fuck does that even mean?' _

"I hope eggs and bacon are okay. I've slaved over the stove all morning for this." Alex said giving Piper a wink. _'Yes, break the tension.'_ She managed to lighten up on her face a bit, trying her hardest not to give anything away.

Piper looked at all the food on the table, dropped her smile a little. "Looks great, Al." She really wasn't hungry, but knew the brunette would press the issue if she didn't eat.

They both started to eat the meal, sitting in a silence that wasn't so comfortable. Neither really knew how to approach the subjects that they had dodged for so long now.

Alex stared at Piper for a few moments, trying to steel her nerves. _'Since when do I get fucking nervous? I make people nervous. I've been fucking girls since I grew a pair of tits. Balls up goddamn it.'_

And with a deep breath in, Alex began.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this. I wanted this to play out right. And thank all of you for your comments and follows. They really do mean a lot to me. If I haven't gotten directly back to you, I will. Promise.**

* * *

'_Okay, you can do this. fuckfuckfuck. Blink. Breathe Go.'_

"Are you enjoying breakfast?" _'Nice opening, Vause.'_

"It's good. I didn't think you would have gotten whole grain bread though." Piper said coolly.

"Well, I know you prefer it, so it was just easier to double the order. I just never would have thought they would have it here in Cambodia. Figured we'd be stuck with plain old white." Alex replied.

"It's just so much better for you. Less in sugar. Warding off that adult Diabetes, you know."

"And completely overpriced at Whole Foods." Alex added.

"_Did we really just have a deep conversation about fucking bread? What the fuck is happening here? Get it under control. Start talking."_

"Piper I have to te-" Alex started.

"Al, I know. You have to go on another job. I heard you pick up the phone. Where and how long?" Piper interrupted.

Alex wasn't prepared for Piper to have just leapt into this conversation. It left her speechless a minute, which was incredibly unusual and quite unsettling.

"I'd hoped I didn't wake you up. I'm sorry." Alex replied.

"I didn't hear the phone ring, just felt you leaving the bed. I went back to sleep, mostly." Piper wasn't really interested in her apology now. She wanted to hear the brunette say that she was leaving again because she was just waiting to explode.

"You didn't answer my questions. When are you leaving? And for how long this time?" Piper continued.

Alex cut her eyes down to the floor. _'This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Save this.'_ She sighed.

"Tomorrow. Could be up to three weeks. I don't have it all planned." Alex said adjusting her glasses. _'Well, hang on now Vause.'_

"Three weeks!? Three!" Piper pushed her plate with most of her breakfast left halfway across the table. "That's the longest you've ever been gone! What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Piper, just listen-"

"Don't. Don't 'just listen, Piper' me. You've left me countless times before. A day or two, here and there. Now you tell me three weeks. What's is going to be next time 3 months? I'm not going to sit here in this hotel for three weeks waiting and worrying that you could have been arrested! Or fucking dead somewhere! Or better yet, at a party fucking some potential mule!" Piper could feel the angry tears brimming on the edges of her eyes.

"I wouldn't. And I haven't since we met. It's always been you." Alex met Piper's eyes and could see the tears start falling. "I would never."

Piper pushed her chair back from the small table they were sharing and swiped quickly under her eyes.

"Nothing's stopping you. I won't be there." Piper said narrowing her eyes.

"I don't want anyone else. I want you."

"You don't understand what I mean. I'm leaving."

Alex eyebrows shot up as her head shook back and forth trying to process Piper's last word.

Piper steeled herself for the moment. She needed to say this.

"I can't do this anymore, Alex. I can't be second to your job, to Fahri. I just can't anymore. I need to go back home."

Alex's heart just dropped. "What?"

"I'm going back to the States. I can't be your girlfriend anymore. I can't just stay alone in all these new places alone while you gallivant all over. I'm sorry. I love you. More than you'll ever know. But this isn't me anymore, it's not fun. I have to leave. It's over."

Piper stood up from the table and walked past Alex into the bedroom.

Alex was livid. She shot out of her chair and spun around. _'This. Is. Not. Happening.'_

"Are you fucking kidding me with this?"

"Alex, don't-"

"No. You knew _exactly_ what you getting into with me! I was honest about everything. Right from the beginning. You still chose it, and you fucking loved it! For years I've taken you around the world and given you everything you wanted and more. You weren't complaining when it was happening. Are you going to tell me you've secretly hated it all this time? And I've done nothing, _nothing_ to explicitly put you in danger." Alex noticed she had raised her voice, not in anger but in distress.

"I never asked you for any of it! What about Brussels? That's not danger?! I couldn't sleep for days!" Piper shuddered with the memory of how long it took her to recoup from the experience.

"You wanted to! I asked you and then I changed my mind. But you pushed for it. Promised me that you could do it. It wasn't right. I know..." Alex fidgeted with her glasses before taking them off. "I know it was a mistake. I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry for that. I can't ever take that back. But you don't have to threaten to leave." She finished quietly.

"I just can't pretend to ignore this all. I'm never going to be comfortable with you doing this forever. You're never going to be comfortable settling down and staying in one place." Piper reached for her suitcase.

"Why the fuck do you think I'm doing this, Piper? Why I've been doing this for ten years?" Alex took a few steps into the room. She noticed Piper take another step sideways so the bed was in between them.

"Because you like it? You like the power, the rush and the money. I don't know!" Piper saw the opportunity for a dig and took her chance. "I don't know, Alex. You haven't always been very open in discussing your feelings." She opened the suitcase.

Alex felt that hit like a ton of bricks. She tried to keep her face even and neutral, but the tears were threatening.

"When I first started, yes. I loved the power. The rush is nice, but I could potentially get that in other activities." Alex took another step towards Piper.

"I do this for the money, yes. I do this so that I have enough to take care of my family. The one that I have now, and the one that I will hopefully have."

Piper turned around and went fumbling into a drawer. "So why don't you just quit this shit already! Get something stable. Some job that you won't constantly have to be looking over your shoulder; wondering when you'll be caught or worse!"

Alex sighed and sat on the corner of the bed. She looked directly at Piper. "I want to settle down one day, Piper. Of course I fucking do! And as much as you see me spend money, it just might fucking surprise you that I have been stashing money away so that I don't have to do this shit forever. And hopefully, my partner won't have to work either. So that we are safe and stable. I just always keep thinking there could be more."

Piper felt the tears rolling down her face. She couldn't bear to turn around and look at Alex. _"Continue packing, Piper."_ She grabbed some clothes out of the drawer and turned to the suitcase.

"Piper. Is that what you want? You want me to quit and go back to the States with you? I don't even know how I fucking would. This is all I know how to do; all I'm good at." Alex ran her hands through her hair and pulled on it a little, hoping that the slight pain would bring her clarity. "Could you please just say something?!"

Piper ignored the streams of tears on her face and attempted to continue packing the suitcase in front of her without looking at Alex. She was desperately trying to forget that line about _'my partner,'_ and she used _'we'_, as in present company. Alex had just so casually dropped that line in.

'_Just pack the suitcase and go. This is some other mess that she's going to rope you into. Further down this fucked-up rabbit hole. Focus on getting home, Piper.''_

"Please, Piper. Please look at me." Alex was desperate now.

It was getting difficult for Piper to see what she was actually putting in the suitcase. At this point, she didn't care.

Alex got on her knees and moved to the edge of the bed closest to Piper. She reached up and cupped Piper's face in her hands. She was surprised that the blonde let her without flinching or backing away. Alex pulled Piper's forehead to hers and tried to calm the anger and hurt that was pounding through both of their bodies.

"Tell me." Piper's voice was almost a whisper. "Please."

'_Well, this is already fucked. Now or never, Vause.' _Alex exhaled.

"I love you, Piper Chapman." She finally let go and allowed herself to fall apart, gripping Piper's face. "I love you. I love you so much it hurts. With every fiber of my being I love you. So you absolutely. Cannot. Fucking. Leave me." She choked out between sobs.

Piper grabbed the side of the suitcase, shoved it onto the floor and climbed on the bed. She pulled Alex to her. She let the brunette let out these body shaking sobs and just held onto her.

"I have you, Alex. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving."

After a few minutes, Alex finally had a bit of control over her breathing enough to slightly pull away from Piper.

"Tell me what you want."

"You. I want a life with you. I want to settle down in one place and live together. I don't want to worry about one of us being arrested flying someplace. I don't want to have to worry about prison for either one of us. Because god knows, I wouldn't survive it. More than anything, I don't want to spend another night apart from you again."

Alex wiped her face. "I want that. Everything. All of it. I want everything with you, Piper. I'll quit the cartel. I don't know how, but I'll figure it the fuck out. We'll settle wherever you want. Just don't leave me, because I wouldn't survive that."

Piper looked at Alex. This was an Alex that she hadn't seen before; open, exposed.

It was that moment that she fell in love all over again with her Alex.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I had to really outline the next couple of chapters so I do this justice. I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter, but I had to cram in everything, so it had to happen. Enjoy!**

* * *

Piper continued to stare in awe at the gorgeous and yet beautifully flawed creature that was before her. This was her Alex; her Alex that had finally broken through the last wall that she had kept from Piper. Everything was laid out on the table now for both of them.

"From here on out no more secrets. No keeping things from one another, even if we think we're protecting each other. We're together in this. Does that work for you?" Piper asked tentatively.

Alex bit her lip before answering. "I've never been great at being totally exposed. I've kind of built my business around being a cold fucking bitch. So you'll have to remind me every now and again, okay?"

Piper leaned forward and placed her lips gently on Alex's. These kisses were more comforting then passionate like the ones before.

"I can do that."

"If you remind me like that, every time, that would be great." Alex replied while placing a few kisses on Piper's neck.

Faster than she thought possible, Piper's hands were grasping either side of Alex's face. Trying to close as much of the space between them as possible.

Piper gently guided Alex to lean back on the bed and threw a leg over her. Straddling Alex, Piper took her time with the deep, luscious kisses that she was gifting. She wanted to pour as much love into this as possible. Piper briefly broke from the kiss to glide her tongue up the brunette's neck to her earlobe. She suckled at the soft piece of flesh, eliciting a soft, low moan from Alex.

With one flick of her wrist, she untied the sash around the robe that she was wearing from the earlier shower and pushed it off the bed. She ran her hands down to Alex's hips and slid them up underneath the worn tee shirt that separated their bodies. Pushing the shirt over Alex's head, she threw it somewhere behind her in the room.

Piper ran her hands all over Alex's chest before planting kisses on as much of the exposed flesh as she could. She brought herself back to Alex's mouth. Alex's hands were running up and down her back, not rushing her. Alex pulled back and met Piper's eyes. They were full of love. _'This girl has all of me now,' _Alex thought.

Keeping their eyes fixed on each other; Piper gently skimmed her hands down the brunette's arms and applied a little pressure on Alex's wrists. Alex splayed her arms out on the bed. Piper immediately understood that this simple act was a testament to Alex relinquishing control.

Piper's lips moved back to Alex's, as hands moved from wrists to hips and thumbs hooked in the waistband of the lounge pants that remained. Piper got tangled up in the ends of the pants. She yanked the pants off clumsily and unabashedly causing that familiar smirk to appear on Alex's face.

"Jesus, Pipes. At least _try _to make it fucking sexy."

"Shut. Up."

Alex's laugh was stifled by Piper's finger running over her half-open mouth. Piper ran it back and forth over Alex's full lips, silently wishing that she had been wearing her signature red lipstick. After a few passes, Alex tilted her head forward to take Piper's finger into her mouth. Automatically, Piper could feel the rush flow through her body. She ran her finger down Alex's chest and stopped just above her belly button.

Piper couldn't continue to tease Alex; she was dying to taste her.

She moved her hands under Alex's knees and lifted them up onto her shoulders. With a few kisses placed on Alex's thighs, she inched her way closer to the apex. As she attacked Alex's folds, her grip on Alex's hips tightened. Alex was writhing now on the bed.

"Piper. More." Alex was able to blurt out through her heavy breathing.

The blonde easily slid two fingers into Alex, eliciting a low, guttural moan from her body. Piper didn't stop her assault on her clit. Alex's body gave away how close she was, as Piper could feel her legs start to shake and body clench.

"Yes. Fuck, Piper." Were the last words that Alex was able to say before she came. As Alex came down from her high, Piper lowered Alex's legs off of her shoulders as she peppered more kisses on them.

"Come here." Alex said; her voice still low. Piper shambled up the bed, into Alex's waiting arms.

"I love you." Alex whispered as she planted a kiss on the blonde's lips.

"I love you too." Piper answered.

* * *

As they lay together in the twisted sheets and thrown pillows, the worry crept up on Alex. She didn't want to have this discussion now, but they were running out of time.

"I'm going to have to do this run. You know that, right? If I pull this off, it's going to put me in the cartel's good graces. Maybe that will help." Alex furrowed her eyebrows. Her mind was racing with a hundred different scenarios.

"Can you talk to Fahri about this?" Piper asked.

"All of us are supposed to be meeting after the first stop. Fahri will be there. I'd rather do this in person; at least then I'll know if I'm fucked or not. Can't read faces on a phone."

"Alex I'll be there."

"I don't know if you should come with me." Alex looked directly at Piper. "Piper, this is really fucking serious. I can't let you come with me. I don't know if they are going to -" Alex stopped.

"To what?" Piper urged Alex to finish.

"To hurt me. If you're with me, they might try to hurt you too. I wouldn't let them do that. I couldn't. They would have to fucking kill me. Not that they are going to kill me." Alex added quickly. _'They might try to kill me. You are not helping the situation. 'yeah babe, come with me, when they put a gun to my head, you can watch..' _

"Has anyone tried to leave?" Piper said quietly. She was unsure if she wanted the answer.

"I don't know if I should tell you. It's not really going to help the matter any."

"Tell me. I thought we said, 'no holding back.'" Piper reminded Alex.

Alex sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "You're right. Okay. I only knew one guy, Yang, that left. It was when I was just starting, so I didn't have a lot to move and I only met him two or three times. Fahri mentioned it one day in passing. I said I had thought the cartel had just moved him to a different area, different countries to work. Turns out he was in the hospital for weeks; the beating he got was so bad. Yang must have talked to somebody because his fucking tongue was also missing. Fahri fucking laughed when he was telling me the story. What a prick."

"Oh god." Piper covered her mouth with her hand. "This is -" Piper couldn't finish her sentence. She was completely overwhelmed with this information and wishing she could take back asking.

Alex grasped Piper's hands. "You should go back to the States. I couldn't live with myself if something fucking happened to you, Piper. Please. Please. So I know that you're safe. You can stay with Polly. Or I'll rent you someplace. Anywhere but with me." Alex moved her hands to hold the blonde's face. Alex's was pleading with her. "Please, please Piper. Go home. I don't fucking care what happens to me, but you. You're worth it. And you had nothing to do with this. I can't let them get to you."

"I don't want to leave you going through this alone. I can help you." Piper raised her eyebrows.

"You won't be able to. I'm going to have to do this alone. I'm sorry. Other than carrying the bag, you haven't done anything illegal. You've met some of these people before, but they'll forget you. They'll just think of you as some blonde that I had for a while before turning out as a mule. I have to keep you apart from this. You have to be clean, Piper. If I get caught at any point, I can't drag you down with me."

"I've been involved in this already. These people, they've seen me. We've traveled with them. Jay, Fox, Maya, all of them, Alex. They know me."

"I'll handle them. It's Fahri and everyone above that I'm concerned about. I taught the rest of them what they know. I don't think they'll fuck with us."

"We will figure out a way to get you out of this." Piper said quietly while brushing some stray hairs that had attached themselves to Alex's face.

'_Well, you finally told her, so good job on that front. Now how the fuck do you expect to leave the cartel? 'I quit' just isn't going to cut it. Even if you nail this run, do you think they'll just let you walk away. I hope you have a fucking casket picked out for your hopefully pre-planned funeral, because you'll never leave this shit alive.'_

Alex fumbled around the bed for her glasses and pulled out her computer. _'Start planning.'_

* * *

As Alex searched flights and travel schedules, she filled Piper in on the minimal information that she had. "My first stop is Jakarta. Then Myanmar and Turkey. Jakarta's no big deal. We've done that before. Remember Java?"

"How could I forget? I was sick for days, and pooping in front of the entire village."

"Yeah, but you have a great story now."

Piper and Alex shared a look and started to laugh together. Alex couldn't help but feel terrible about everything was going to happen in the next couple of weeks; sending Piper home when they had just affirmed their love for each other, stressing about work, worrying about the backlash of her leaving the cartel. She had had grand plans, and none of them ended this way.

In a little while, Alex had both of their trips booked.

"Okay, we'll be able to head to the airport together. You leave for JFK about noon, and I leave about an hour later to Soekarno. I have a car that will be waiting for you at the airport." Alex explained.

"I could just have Polly pick me up." Piper tried to reason.

"It's already done. No need to bother her. Are you going to stay with her? Or do I need to get you an apartment?"

"I haven't talked to her yet." Truthfully, Piper hadn't had time to. Alex and her had been arguing, talking and fucking.

"Call her. Please. This way we get everything out of the way, and enjoy the rest of the day. I'm going to shower." Alex took off her glasses and winked at Piper. "You've made a mess out of me, kid."

Piper heard the shower start up and picked up her phone. She took a deep breath in and dialed.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I had to rework the chapters a little bit, because I thought that this was a moment that was needed. I know this should have been the Fahri chapter, but that's coming. Thank you all for the comments, reviews, favorites and follows!**

* * *

"You better have a good reason that you haven't called me in so long."

"Pol, hi."

"You big lesbian. How are you? Where are you?"

"Cambodia. In a villa. On the beach. I'm okay, how are you?"

"Pete is driving me nuts, it's the winter here and I'm freezing my tits off. So, pretty shitty."

"Polly, I need to ask you a favor."

"Of course you can stay with me."

"How-How did you know I was coming back?"

"Because you're my bestie. Of course I know. Plus, I figured if Supercunt was coming back you'd just be staying with her. So I'm assuming she's not. Are you okay? Is this an 'I-told-you-so' moment?"

"We're all good. Great, actually. But she's got an extended job for work, and I kind of want to come home for a few weeks."

"Piper, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay. Promise."

"So when do you come?"

"Tomorrow night. I'll take a car to your place. Don't worry." Piper heard the stream of water stop from the bathroom.

"Can't wait to see you!"

"Love you, brat."

"Bye, lesbian."

Piper threw her phone somewhere on the bed. _'__Well, that__'__s settled. I really don__'__t want to leave Alex alone through all of this. What if something happens to her? How will I know?__'_

Alex came sauntering out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body, but just barely covering it. One tendril of hair was hanging out of the towel that held her hair.

"How did it go with Holly?" Alex asked with a wink and a smirk.

"Good. Told her I'm coming home for a bit; she said it wasn't a problem to stay with her." Piper responded.

"I'm glad you'll be somewhere safe." Alex pulled the towel off her head and rubbed her hair dry. "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Let's walk on the beach. Or just lay in the bed with me." Piper attempted her best pout.

"How about a little bit of shopping first? Then the beach? We'll go wherever you want for dinner, and we'll cap it off all night in bed." Alex leaned down and placed her lips on Piper's.

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

After a few minutes, and a few quick swats to Piper's hands from roaming all over Alex's body, both women were ready to go. On the way out of the resort, Alex stopped for a minute.

"Piper, one minute, okay?"

"Sure."

Alex walked over to the concierge desk and had a brief conversation with the man there. He nodded a few times and Alex was satisfied with his understanding. She turned and made her way back over to Piper.

"All good. Let's go, kid."

They walked through the local markets, with Alex buying anything that caught Piper's eye. She wanted her last day with Piper to be something they would both remember. Alex for more than just freely being with Piper; she wouldn't be seeing her for a long time. Alex had finally opened up to Piper, letting the last wall around her heart crumble, only to have to send Piper away from her, for weeks. _'__This whole thing is so shitty. Just enjoy the day, asshole. Don__'__t fuck anything else up.__'_

They had almost made their way through the market when Piper spotted something and asked Alex to stay just outside the tents.

"Do you need money?" Alex asked.

"No, I got this." Piper answered over her shoulder.

After Piper made her purchase which she absolutely would not divulge to Alex's dismay, they made their way back to the villa to drop everything off, and put on something more comfortable to walk on the beach.

Alex was on the patio when Piper walked out of the bathroom. She turned and held her hand out to the blonde. They walked hand in hand along the shore, where the water just meets the sand. Time was not on their side, it never seemed to be on their side. After a awhile of walking, it was Alex that finally broke the silence.

"I'm hungry, let's head back."

"Me too."

As they approached the villa, Piper saw a dining table and chairs out on the sand, with linens and waiters fidgeting to take orders. Piper turned on her heels and grasped both of Alex's hands.

"Did you do this?"

"Yes. Surprise?" One of Alex's eyebrows arched up.

"You're crazy! This whole day has been too much!" Piper looked up at Alex.

"I love you, Pipes. It's never enough." Alex sighed, "Besides, I don't know when I'll be able to spoil you like this again. So live it up." With a hint of a sad smile, Alex bent her head down to kiss her love.

Midway through dinner, Piper brought out a little bag and placed it in front of Alex.

"What's this?" Alex said through a smile.

"For you. Open it!" Piper was practically bouncing in her seat.

Alex pulled on the corners of the bag and pulled the necklace out. She studied it for a moment. A Hamsa on a simple black cord.

"I know it's nothing as beautiful as everything that you bought me today. But it's for luck. To keep you safe. Do you like it?"

Alex reached around her neck and closed the clasp. She gingerly touched the Hamsa lying on her chest. "I love it. Thank you." She pulled Piper closer so she could thank her with a kiss.

They ate, drank and chatted for hours. It was clear Piper was tired from the day, or the wine, Alex couldn't tell. She tipped the waiters that promptly broke down their impromptu dining table and half-carried Piper up to the villa.

"C'mon kid, time for me to make good on that promise of lying in bed with you." Alex whispered in Piper's ear.

* * *

It was early in the morning as the alarm rang, disturbing both of the women who had to untangle their limbs from each other.

"Pipes? You awake, kid?" She ran her hands down Piper's arms trying to stir the woman awake.

Piper just groaned in response.

"Pipes, if you keep making noises like this we're never going to make it on time."

Piper just laughed and rolled out of bed.

They packed, and got a taxi to the airport. Checking in, Alex and Piper made their way to Piper's gate. They had about 20 minutes before it would be boarding.

Alex faced Piper and held her face in her hands. "Piper, I swear to you I will be back. And I will be out. We can start our lives; Our good lives. Together. I love you. Please be careful."

"I love you too, Alex. I will wait as long as I have to. Can you call me as often as you can? I'll miss you too much."

"Of course. As soon as I can, as often as I can. Can you do me one more favor?"

"Anything."

"Can you visit my mom? Just to check in on her. Make sure she's doing alright." Alex pulled a letter out of her jacket and turned it over in her hands. "I have this for her."

Piper took the letter from Alex. Seeing Alex's mother by herself wasn't exactly on her list of most favorite things, but if Alex had written a letter, she knew it was important. Her mind remembered one Valentine's Day where Alex had to leave for the day, and she had left a letter for Piper to wake up to. It was written beautifully and Piper had traced the pen indentations over and over in the pages with her fingers and by the time Alex had returned late in the day, Piper almost forgot to be angry with her for leaving on Valentine's Day.

_'Soon she won't leave again on a holiday or birthday, or even a weekend.' _Piper thought to herself.

"Of course I'll take it to your mom. I'll give her a call when I'm all settled in at Polly's."

"Sometimes kid, I don't think I deserve you." Alex looked down to the ground.

Piper reached out and lifted up Alex's chin so that she could see her eyes. "We deserve each other." The corners of her mouth lifting. "I'm a Park Slope narcissist who wants to settle."

"And I'm a ruthless pragmatist who finally expressed her love and now faces a cartel. I wouldn't have it any other way." Alex replied.

As they smiled at each other, the announcement for boarding Piper's flight came.

"That's you kid. You better go before I drag you into the bathroom." Alex smiled sadly at this, the tears threatening to fall.

"Alex, I love you. Come back home soon." Piper was already crying.

"Piper, just be safe please. I'll be thinking about you every second. I love you." Alex pulled Piper impossibly close to her and poured every drop her soul into a kiss that she laid on Piper's lips. "Now get on that plane."

Piper touched Alex's cheek briefly and turned towards the gate. Alex watched her walk away as she tried to keep her face as neutral as possible. _'You are just barely keeping it together shithead. You can fall apart when she makes it on the plane. Make sure you see her get on that plane.' _Alex kept repeating this to herself like a mantra.

After Piper handed her ticket to the steward at the gate, she turned slightly to look back at Alex. The brunette held up her hand quickly, but didn't wave. _'Waves are happy motions, don't wave.'_ Piper did the same. She turned again and walked slowly towards the plane.

Alex stood at the gate until the plane pushed off from the gate. She scanned around and locked in on the bathroom. She shoved open the door and ran to the first stall she could see. She closed the lid and sat down on the toilet. It was finally now that she allowed the building tears and sobs to escape. _'This shit is only temporary. Why doesn't it feel like it? It feels like a fucking breakup. I can't be a fucking mess like this with Fahri. I can't show any emotion. I can't let them know that Piper matters. Please if there's a God, and if you're listening, just keep her safe; and maybe make this easy to just walk away.' _

Alex stayed in the stall until an announcement came for her flight. She walked out of the stall, did a quick fix of her eyeliner and left the bathroom, headed for her gate.

With a deep breath, Alex boarded the plane.

_'C'mon Vause, time to do what you're fucking good at.'_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know I took basically the whole scene from the show, but I felt like it really fit in well as a flashback to how Alex got involved. Hopefully, we see a little bit more of this in the new season. Thank you for your continued support through this story! It's really giving me a boost to write. **

* * *

"ALEX!" A scream came from the back of the nightclub as Alex craned her head around from the bar to see who was calling out. She immediately spotted Jay running towards her. Jay was a muscular 35 year old with platinum blonde hair and a love of show tunes; currently pulling his latest boy-toy, a dark haired Latino boy who couldn't be older than 18, if that.

"Doll, it's been so long!" Jay exclaimed happily. He leaned forward to kiss both of Alex's cheeks.

"Jay, how are you? I see you've got a new friend." Alex nodded her head towards the boy at Jay's side.

"This is Marco. Marco, this is the woman who taught me everything." Jay smiled at Alex.

"Nice to meet you, Marc. Enjoying everything?"

Marco just nodded his head and gave a weak smile. Alex surmised that he probably didn't speak much English.

"Alex, come over to the table. Say hello to everyone."

As Alex followed Jay and Marco through the crowded club, Jay asked her over his shoulder, "Where's that pretty little blonde you've been dragging all over?"

Alex clenched her jaw, took a sip from her beer and tried to expunge the image of Piper from her mind at the moment. She had to keep all her emotions under control around these people.

"Started to get too much of a hassle. It's over with." Immediately feeling guilty, Alex silently apologized to Piper after the words left her mouth.

"Shame. She could have done really well if she worked."

'_I never would have let it come to that. Not Piper. She's different; better than this. Fucking asshole.'_

The three of them finally made it through the crowd and over to a large section of couches and tables, where a group of associates were parked.

A redheaded woman, wearing a loud animal print and freckles, was in deep conversation with a moderately attractive brunette, raised her glass to Alex.

"Maya." Alex said and lifted her beer bottle up. Maya was another of Alex's recruits. She too had had a major meltdown like Piper had in Brussels. However, Maya was determined not to disappoint Alex. At the time, Alex had manipulated her with sex and drink and money. When Alex moved on to somebody else, Maya had become just as effective at picking women out to turn them into efficient mules. Before Piper, the two women with their attitudes and stunning beauty, had worked together to round up more girls than they could count into the ring. Alex felt a bit of pride that Maya had done well for herself.

Looking around the rest of the group, Alex noted that her last recruit, Fox, was missing. Fox was a Southern, tanned, All-American boy Florida that would make the girls swoon with his drawl. Alex spotted Fahri off to the side, looking down at his phone. _'Now, Alex.'_

Alex walked over to the bald man that had become a friend and tutor to her. Fahri lifted his head when he glanced her walking towards him and smiled.

"Alex. Another job well done. As usual."

"Hey Fahri. Thanks."

"Is everything set up for the next two drops?"

"Yeah. Everything's solid. Maya might have to pick up one of two more girls, but from the looks of it, she's already doing it." Alex said, cutting her eyes back to Maya who had her arm over the girl next to her.

"You taught her well."

Alex took another sip of her beer. She was going to need a lot more of these to calm her nerves.

"Kubra wants to up the output."

"Fahri, I – "

"Alex, don't be ridiculous. You can do this."

"It's not a question of whether I can or can't. I don't want this anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm done Fahri. I want out."

"Is this because of the blonde bitch you've kept around? Alex, this is not something you just walk away from because you're tired. Or over it. You're involved. If you like it or not, not my problem, you've been involved in this."

Alex felt her heart twist with the implication of this being Piper's fault. Restraining herself from attacking, she cursed him under her breath. "It's not about her. I've done my share. You've got Maya and Jay who are just as good as I am. And Fox, wherever he is. The three of them can replace me."

"Fox is dead."

Alex's jaw just hit the floor. "What."

"Dead. OD. Asshole started doing the drugs."

"Fuck. _'Fox. Fuck. Kid was sweet. Too nice, at first, for this game. But the money always brought people around.'_

"You don't just walk away, Alex. There are rules. Punishments. You remember Yang."

Alex cringed at the mention of Yang. "I'm a much better earner than anyone you've ever had. The last 10 years of my life, I've done everything and more. I've never asked for more and I've never done less than. This is my only request."

"Alex, Alex." Fahri put a hand on her shoulder. "Do me a favor and never bring this up again."

Fahri started to walk away from Alex, when she reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Fahri. I'll do the last two runs. Then I'm done. Whoever you need to talk to or whatever you need to fucking do -" Alex glared at him, "You go ahead and you do it. But I'm done."

Fahri looked from Alex's eyes down to her hand on his. "Be in touch." Alex released her grip on his arm. She watched him walk towards the table, wave a goodbye and then seamlessly glide through the crowd.

'_Motherfucker. Way to go, shithead. Threaten the prize pony of the cartel. I'm fucking dead. I'm dead.'_ Alex quickly made her way to the bathroom of the club as a past memory crept up on her.

* * *

_Alex was adjusting her makeup in the mirror of the dingy, stickered bathroom of this shithole club. She had wished that this moment had been so different. 'My dad is a total asshole. I'm just fucking going home. This wasn't even worth it.' Alex did a last check over herself and focused on making her face as neutral as she could manage. This was about showing no emotion except for disgust as she would walk out of the basement of this alleged club and see her father for the last time._

_Alex opened the door and a gasp left her throat. She was face to face with an olive-skinned man who definitely looked out of place with these fucking dregs._

"_Jesus, fuck. You scared me."_

"_You okay?"_

_Alex just nodded and sniffled. "I'm fine."_

"_He's not what you thought, huh?" The man glanced over his shoulder to the aging rock group, currently doing lines off the table. "Been imagining this moment your whole life?"_

"_I had this white fringe pleather jacket I always thought I would wear when I met him."_

"_Nice, pleather." The man laughed. "What happened?"_

"_You're right." Alex looked down at her clothes. "Maybe that would have made the difference."_

"_Most people are better in the abstract. It's Alex, right?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Fahri." The man holds out a small bottle and the side of his hand. "You want a bump?"_

"_No, thanks."_

"_Smart girl."_

"_So what are you doing here with these losers?" Alex nods her head in the direction of her father and the rest of his band and groupies._

"_They are my clients."_

"_Clients? What do you do?"_

"_I work for an international drug cartel." Fahri looks at Alex and starts to laugh. Alex joins him. _

"_Right." Alex's eyebrows raised. _

"_I'm serious." Fahri takes a large breath in, "Alex, what else do I need to know about you?"_

"_Um, nothing? I just met you, and I'm not interested if you're hitting on me. So, sorry."_

"_I'm not hitting on you. Do you like to travel?"_

"_I haven't really been out of the metro area. But, it would be fucking great to be able to travel."_

"_Looking for a job?"_

"_Selling drugs?" Alex laughs heartily. "No, thanks. I don't need that shit."_

"_Not selling. Importing. Dropping money off. Nothing big; unless you're good at it."_

_Alex was unsure about this. The furthest she had traveled was Florida. Once, for Disney. She didn't even get to go with her mom, who was still working 3 jobs at the time; her aunt had paid for her as a gift. She looked back at her father. 'What the fuck is keeping me in this shithole.'_

"_Fuck it. Sure, at the very least I'll be seeing some part of the world that's gotta be better than here."_

_Fahri smiled and took Alex's number. "Be in touch."_

* * *

The memory was unwelcome by Alex as she stared in the mirror. _"Fuck that asshole.'_

She washed her hands and headed back to the bar. A young blonde girl waved at her from across the way. Alex cut her eyes back to the bartender and ordered a whiskey. She saw the girl start to make her way around the bar. _'Please, Christ, don't come over here.'_

"Hi there!" The girl's tinny voice was barely heard above the pounding of the bass in the club. It forced Alex to turn around to face the girl, who was as high as her chest.

"Hello."

"I'm Tina. I couldn't help but notice you from across the bar." Tina giggled.

"Thanks, Tina." Alex let the name roll off her tongue. _'Appropriate name for the voice.'_

Alex tilted her head back and let the shot slide down her throat.

"Can I buy you a drink…?" Tina let the end of that question open for Alex to tell her a name.

"It's Alex. And I'll buy you a drink."

"Ok, Alex."

Alex waved the bartender over and ordered two more shots of whiskey. They clinked glasses and took their shots. Alex watched Tina scrunch her face up and immediately her heart longed for Piper. Piper, who couldn't handle her liquor either and would be doing tequila shots, not whiskey. Piper, who would be dragging her onto the dance floor and pulling Alex closer to her so they could move together to the music. Piper, who by now would be begging Alex to make her come again and again. Piper, who would plead for Alex to stay with her, and forget about work. Piper, that Alex fucking sent away.

'_Piper, you have no idea how much I fucking miss you.'_

"Wanna dance?" Tina said, slightly wobbly on her feet.

"No." Alex said coldly.

Tina looked crushed. Alex felt guilty.

"Listen, it's not you. I have a girlfriend." Alex sighed as she saw the disappointment on Tina's face. "But, if you like redheads, there's my friend Maya who is in the back on the couch. Tell her I sent you over."

Tina looked up at Alex. _'She really is a pretty girl. Why did I just send her to the snake pit? Hope you survive, girl.'_

"Nice meeting you, Alex. Hope it works out with your girlfriend." Tina turned and headed through the club toward the back with Maya.

Alex ordered another drink. Painfully alone, she decided to head back to the hotel room.

* * *

The door to the hotel room closed and Alex leaned her back against it. The haze from the drinks helped her to dull the pain of Piper not being in this bed when she would crawl in it.

Alex pulled out her phone and checked the time it was 1am in Jakarta, so it should be okay to call Piper now. She tapped the contact in her phone and let it ring.

"Alex?"

"Pipes!" Alex fell back on the bed. "How was the flight?"

Alex let Piper talk about the flight, the guy that fell asleep on her in the seat next to her, the turbulence and everything else. She felt the pit in her gut lessen with every word that Piper spoke.

"I miss you, kid. Like, a fuck-ton."

"Me too Al. Did you see him?"

"I did. Told him that these were my last two runs. Fox is gone."

"Gone? He got out?"

"No, gone like dead."

"Oh, God."

"OD. Stupid."

"How did the rest of the conversation go?"

"Not well. I sort of threatened him."

"You WHAT?!" Piper yelled into the phone.

"Ow. Loud? I did say: 'sort of.' I can't actually do anything. I wanted him to know I was serious. I didn't say I was going to kill him."

"Fuck, Alex."

"Look, I just really needed to hear your voice right now. I need you. Please, Pipes. I miss you like fucking crazy. Some girl tried to hit on me, and it made me miss you more."

"What girl?" Piper's voice had raised by about an octave by the end of the question.

'_Fuck.' _"Some girl at the club. Nothing happened. I sent her Maya's way. I felt like I pushed somebody into the viper pit."

"You did. So what did this girl look like?"

"Ooh kid, don't get all jealous. She didn't touch me. She actually had the balls to offer to buy me a drink. It was adorably pathetic. I'm sure Maya ate her up."

Piper was silent for a minute. Internally, she was fuming that she wasn't there with Alex. Both because she was longing for her love, and the fact that some flooze had gotten that close to Alex without their face connecting with Piper's fist. For as lighthearted and waspy as Piper was, she watched every interaction that anybody had with Alex, and was prepared to attack during each one of them. Quite a few times, Alex had to distract Piper with kisses, or touches to be able to drag her away from a scene or altercation that was soon to be had.

"Alex, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, Pipes."

"Don't send other people into the ring. Because you're getting out, don't let 10 more people potentially lose their lives to this. You know what it does."

"I can't do that. Piper, if bringing in people helps me get out, I will bring in as many as necessary. I'm not going to apologize for that. These are all adults, making their own decisions."

Piper sighed into the phone. She wasn't exactly happy with this scenario, but Alex had a point. These people had to make their own mistakes in life too.

"Piper? You still there?" Alex whispered into the phone.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Okay, I'm heading to bed. Fuck. This sucks that you're not here. I miss my little spoon."

"Tell me you're not sleeping naked."

Alex laughed. "Mmm. Maybe I am."

"Fuck you, Alex. Don't." Piper started to whine.

Alex started to take off her shoes and dress. "So what are you wearing?"

"Alex!" Piper blushed. "It's 2 in the afternoon!"

"Pipes, c'mon. Since when has that mattered? Live a little. Break a few more rules with me, before we go all vanilla." Alex got into the bed and leaned her back against the headboard.

Piper gave an exasperated sigh into the phone. "Alright. Let's see. A lacy bra and a black thong."

"Fuck." Was Alex's only reply.

There was no way she was going to sleep anytime soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - I am so sorry that this took so long to write. I hit a little period of crazy in my life. Thank you again for all the comments and follows and favorites! I really do appreciate it! I hope you guys are still into this. I will say that this chapter is more about Piper than Alex, but there will be plenty more story following up with Alex. **

* * *

"Piper, are you ever going to leave the house?" Polly called from the kitchen. "I said you can stay, not become one with the couch!"

"I know, you're right. I'm sorry." Piper got up and joined Polly in the kitchen.

"You should get out. This isn't healthy."

"Where am I going to go? I don't want to go places alone; I certainly don't want to go back to the apartment without Alex." Piper hesitated to say _'because I don't know if that's too dangerous.'_ in front of Polly.

"What are you going to do now? Like, for work? Go back to waitressing?"

"Ugh, maybe but that sounds terrible."

Polly stood at the oven with a thermometer to check on the soap that she was making.

"Jesus, Pol that smells good."

Polly looked at the soap and looked to Piper. "You know, we could do this."

"What?"

"We could do this. For a living. For money. What if we made soap and lotions and everything and sold them? In farmer's markets, little boutiques. You know. It keeps me out of an office, and people immediately love you."

"Seriously? You'd want me to do this with you? I don't know a thing about making lotion or soap."

"You'd learn from me. Seriously. It's not that hard. Pete sometimes helps, and if he can, you can."

Piper thought about this for a moment as she mindlessly arranged bottles of essential oils. _'This is something good. Legit. Nothing illegal and could potentially support us when Alex comes back home. I can do this. And thank fuck it's not waitressing.'_

Piper reached for a pair of rubber gloves, "Okay, show me what to do!"

* * *

After making many blocks of soap and cleaning up, Piper and Polly were relaxing finally over some wine.

"So, what's the deal? Seriously. You never come home without Supercunt."

"I really wish you wouldn't call her that, Pol." Piper sighed.

"Are you staying for good this time? Because I kind of miss the shit out of you. If I have to put up with her to see you, I will."

"I think we are. Alex is just finishing up some stuff with work and then-"

"You still never told me what she does. Imports what?"

Piper just shrugged. _'I wish I could tell you Polly. I hate lying to you. Maybe when Alex is home, I can tell her. Once she's safe and out.'_

"Expensive shit. Depends on what the buyers are looking for." Piper hoped that was a good enough lie.

"Aren't you supposed to see her mom too?"

'_Shit, the letter.' _Piper thought to herself. "Yeah. I've kind of been pushing it off a few days. I should go tomorrow."

"If you need the car, just let me know. It's Saturday, and we can use Pete's car if we really need to go somewhere." Polly yawned. "I'm heading to bed."

"Thanks, brat."

"Goodnight, lesbian!"

* * *

Piper put the car into park and shut off the engine. She took the keys out and looked to the right out the window to Diane Vause's house. Piper had been here before, and had met Diane more than a few times, but never without Alex. Piper had spent many moments with Diane, mornings where they would meet in the kitchen when Piper woke up before Alex and tiptoed downstairs for coffee or breakfast. Diane was loving, affectionate; things Piper had craved from her own family. For some reason, Piper was filled with anxiety about this visit.

Piper tried to breathe out the nervousness that was pulsating through her body. _'What am I going to say to this woman? Just be the nice lady and deliver the letter to her.' _Piper opened up the car door and got out, so focused on walking towards the screened in porch that she didn't even hear the car door slam. She awkwardly hit the alarm button twice for the car, faintly hearing the horn sound that announced the alarm was set, but never looking back. Three steps up and she opened the screen door and knocked.

"Hang on a second!" Piper heard yelled from inside.

The door flew open and Diane and Piper just stood there for what seemed to be forever, but had to be just mere seconds.

"Piper! Hi! Where's Alex? Come in!" Diane opened the door wider and side-stepped to let Piper in.

"Hi Diane!" Once she was inside, Diane grabbed Piper into a huge hug.

"Where's Allie?"

Piper smiled at the adorable nickname Diane used for Alex as she pulled out of the hug.

"Alex is still overseas, finishing up some work. She'll be home in a couple weeks." Piper hoped that this would appease her without too many questions.

"Oh." Diane said with a hint of sadness in her tone. "Well, don't just stand there, come in! Sit down! Do you want something? Coffee? Water?"

"I'll just have some water if that's okay, thanks." Piper remembered just how strong Diane's coffee was, and thought twice about being awake until 4 in the morning without Alex to tire her out.

"Sure thing." Diane headed off to the kitchen. Piper sat on the couch. The house brought so many memories back to Piper and made her miss Alex even more. Piper remembered the first time that Alex had brought her home, and Diane immediately yelling at Piper for not calling her 'Diane,' _"Mrs. Vause is my dead mother, and I ain't dead yet." _Another time when Alex and Piper had been a bit too loud during their nightly activities that when they came downstairs in the morning, Diane handed them their coffee cups and said with a smile: _"We're gonna haveta look into soundproofing that room of yours, Allie."_ and shared a booming laugh with Alex while Piper blushed so much so she could practically feel her face on fire, and had to excuse herself. Piper touched her cheek at the memory.

It was only a moment later that Diane returned, water glass in one hand and a refilled coffee mug in the other. She placed them both on the coffee table and sat down in the chair opposite Piper.

"So what brings you all the way here? Alex wanted you to check up on me?" She flourished her hand down her body. "I'm still alive and sittin' here!"

Piper gave a small laugh. "Yeah, she wanted me to check in on you, since we haven't been home in a while." She turned and pulled the envelope out of her purse. "Alex wanted me to give this to you."

Diane's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she took the envelope from Piper. "What's this?"

"I'm really not sure. Alex just asked me to stop by, check in and give you that." Piper gestured to the letter.

Diane turned it over in her hands and started to open the envelope.

"I should probably go." Piper started to get up off of the couch.

"Sit down. I'm reading this and then you're going to tell me what the hell is going on."

Piper sat down and felt her anxiety build again. _'How can I lie to her mother? God, I'm terrible. This is terrible. I just should have mailed it. I just wish Alex was here to do all of this in person.'_

Diane's eyes started to scan the pages.

_**Mom, **_

_**I want you to know that I love you. **_

_**I asked Piper to come to see you because I want to know that you are all right and safe. I never expected to have to do this in a letter, but in case something happens, you need to know all of this. **_

_**I work for an international drug cartel. **_

_**Usually that line would have been followed with a laugh to stave off how ridiculous it sounds, but it's the honest truth. I have worked for them for the last 10 years and started when I met my dad. The band were clients of a guy I met that night who got me into the cartel. I wasn't going to school, I wasn't working. This seemed like the best possible move to get out of New Jersey for me. I have spent the last 10 years moving money and moving drugs and it's kept me happy and greatly compensated for that time. I did it really well. I would say you'd be proud, but given the nature of what I do, I don't think you'd approve. All of this used to keep me happy, until now. Until I realized just how much I love Piper.**_

_**I love Piper, Ma. **_

_**She's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to make her happy. I want to marry this girl and I want to have the best possible life with her for as long as I can. I can't continue to drag her around this illegal shit with me. I have to make things right. I have to fix them to make you and her safe. **_

_**So, I'm leaving the cartel. That's why I'm not there. **_

_**I never wanted to tell you all of this. I was hoping I would just leave when I was ready and we'd never have to have a discussion about this. You worked so hard to give me the best that you could when I was younger. You raised me better than this to fall in with some of these scumbags. I wanted it so that you never had to work yourself to the bone again; never have to worry about money again. So I am leaving. I can't lie to you anymore. **_

_**I'm worried, Ma. I'm scared that I'm not going to come home and I'm stuck in all this shit. If something happens, don't worry about everything. It's all taken care of. I want you to be happy. **_

_**I wanted you to know everything. No more secrets. I love you so much. **_

_**When I get home, I'll go into as much detail as you want. Or as little. Please don't hate me for all of this. I promise I am trying to right all the wrongs I've done. **_

_**And please don't be too hard on Piper, she's only doing what I asked. If you ask her questions, tell her I said it's okay to tell you everything, otherwise she will try to cover for me, and at this point I don't deserve it. **_

_**I really should be there to tell you all of this in person. I will be as soon as I possibly can.**_

_**I love you, Ma. See you soon. **_

_**Love, **_

_**Alex**_

Piper watched as Diane's eyes filled with tears and started rolling down her face. Diane got up from the chair and sat next to Piper on the couch. Piper pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"Do you love her?" Diane asked between sobs.

"Yes. Immensely." Piper answered.

"Why didn't she tell me? She said you can tell me." Diane pointed to the line in the letter.

"She didn't want you to be disappointed in her. She's very proud. You know that."

"She said she's giving this up for you."

"Yes, I know. I want to be with her for as long as I can. I don't want that shortened by her job."

"Piper, promise me that you will take care of her. When she comes back, you need to be there for her."

"I will, Diane. I always will." Piper could feel the tears start falling on her own face.

They sat there together both missing Alex and crying out the fear, the pain and years of lies. Diane broke from the embrace and took Piper by the shoulders.

"Piper." Piper looked up at Diane. "You can call me Mom, now."


End file.
